Next Time, I’ll Ask For Help

“Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own”

This is one of the most personal and powerful of U2’s songs for me.  A few years ago I made a “video” of family photographs, and put it to this music, to give the boys.  It was intended to let them know that while they go through their lives, Diana and I will always be there to help them as needed.  They won’t be “alone”.  And don’t try to do everything by yourself.  It is okay to ask us for help…advice…maybe just to listen…

Tough, you think you’ve got the stuff
You’re telling me and anyone
You’re hard enough

I think we often feel intimidated and may not ask for help.  Especially young men going through changes and wanting to make it “on their own”.  Young men.  Older men.  Women.  Sons.  Daughters.  Moms.  Dads. We are all alike.  We often try to do things “on our own”.  Not wanting to involve anyone else…for whatever the reason.

Maybe it is that we want to show we “are able”, “capable” of doing it on our own.   That we are, and can be self-sufficient.  A “Jack of all Trades”.

Or maybe we just figure that “others” have something better to do.  We don’t want to be a bother.  We don’t want to trouble someone else with our “worries”, “troubles” or “stuff”.

You don’t have to put up a fight
You don’t have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Sometimes maybe we just want “a little attention”, so we take on the task by ourself.

Perhaps we want the “sympathy”, “credit”, or the “glory”.


Close minded-ness?

Yes and Yes!

Do we think that maybe we are invincible?  Superman?  James Dean?  Wonder Woman?  (well maybe for Halloween, just that one time)


Probably all of the above.  And I am sure that those close to me will say I am guilty of all of the above.

And speaking about above, that is what got me thinking about this song, and subject.  The context came while at a church service.  A friend had invited us to tailgate with his family, after church service.  It sounded like fun.  So we went to the church service with Larry, Cindy and family.

The church is a modest size group of people led by a pastor who seems very genuine and energetic.  One of the first things that took place at the service was that the Pastor and Church presented a check to a struggling family.  The family needed a chair lift for a son who has to deal with a pretty debilitating autoimmune condition.  It was a pretty moving act, especially for someone new, (like moi) who did not know anyone directly involved.  A church member, knowing of the family’s struggles, suggested to the pastor, that a special collection be taken up for the family.  The family didn’t ask for help.  But help found it’s way into their lives.


We can’t always rely on help finding us.  But it often does, and we are unaware.  Sometimes we are hiding from it.  And there are times when it is right in front of us.  Before our eyes.  But we don’t see it for whatever the reason.  Perhaps we are too consumed in trying to “take care of things ourselves”.  Or too blind to think that someone else would care enough to help us out.  (Again, color me “guilty as charged”)

Not long after this, the pastor talked about asking God for help.  He said God wants us to do so.  

I think others do too.

I enjoy helping others.  I get an unparalleled satisfaction out of it.  That is probably why I enjoyed coaching.  So it makes sense that others might enjoy helping others also.

Who am I to deprive others of something they enjoy?

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don’t have to go it alone

Here’s something you can make on your own…a nice cocktail that will warm your insides as it cascades down your throat and into your belly.  On a brisk autumn evening, it should be right on target and hit the spot.

I introduce something a little unusual, it is called Cynar.  It is an artichoke based aperitif, almost bitter.  Adds a little rich earthy flavor to the drink and I think the Chartreuse add the right compliment of herb flavor.  TheRye?  Well, it just makes the drink worth drinking!

           Rye and Choke

            1.  2 ounces rye (Rittenhouse is a “can’t miss choice”)

            2.  1 ounce Sweet Vermouth (Dolin’s is excellent but Carpano Antica, if you            are lucky to  find it, adds a whole new dimension to the drink)

            3.  .5 ounce Cynar

            4.  .5 ounce Green Chartreuse

Mix all in a cocktail shaker with a few cubes of ice.  Serve in a glass with a single large ice cube and enjoy.

Life has it’s fair share of challenges.  And I like to think most people deal with those challenges in the best way they can.  Some are every day ones that you are almost unaware of…you take the Nike approach, and “Just Do It”.

Others require a little more out of us.  They are a little more challenging.  Tougher than maybe we thought.

Sometimes you can’t make it on your own

Well, don’t forget, we are all in this together.  We should all be more focused on one another and we should be ready to ask for help.

This is our life.  I am sure we are willing to help each other if we can.  Let’s make it easier for ourselves and each other.

I know the next time I will ask for help.

And if you need help, give me a call.  If I can, I will.


Published in: on October 23, 2011 at 8:41 pm  Comments (3)  
Tags: , , ,

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

RSS feed for comments on this post.

3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I think a lot of it is how all of us were raised having that independent, “I can do it” attitude and never wanting to be a burden on anyone else. And we’re always wanting to help others, but don’t want ask for it ourselves. Sometimes it’s hard to admit to oneself that you need help!


    • Good point, it makes sense…but i think I will still ask for a little help the next time. Thanks Mary.


  2. Great read on a pre-Thanksgiving day morning.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: