What is Your Story, Pt. 2

So the last time we “met”, I talked about a concept of asking yourself “What is my story?”.    What are things that make you, you?  A guiding thought or emotion that steers you in the direction to become the person you are.

Well, I have thought about it, and I am not sure where to begin…!  I am not sure I can address just one piece of my story.  But I will start with one and then another, and another, and again…and again.

So at least part of my story has to do with “Emotions” or “Feelings”.  You see, I hold these close to me. Not that I do not share them, because all too often I cannot help but share them.  I just mean that my feelings and emotions are important to me.  Many times throughout my life, I have actually been told that I can be too emotional.  Or that I take things “too personal”.  No argument.  I can read something that was written to me, or something about my family and my eyes begin to well up.  An old picture can take me to a time when I was naive and through my years and lessons learned, the picture can fill my heart with a swell of feelings which are difficult to describe.  Hell, I can even watch a damn Budweiser commercial with dogs and Clydesdales and find myself feeling verklempt.  That is just meshungenah!

But, what can I say?  That’s me.  It is a part of what makes me who I am.  It is also what directs me in the direction I need to be in, most of the time.

I say most of the time because sometimes it can get in the way.  Knowing this is helpful.  Especially if I want to correct the course of that ship.  Realizing the feelings that are about to hit you like a tidal wave, and knock you off of your feet, allows you to brace yourself a bit, pause and redirect.

However, that usually only happens when they can be crippling or destructive to myself.

Other times these feelings help me.  Give me inspiration.  And often serve as a coastline, helping me navigate in shallow waters to take me where I belong.

I like to think they have given me direction in being the son I need to be.  Especially right now with my mother’s health in a territory we haven’t visited before.  My feelings move me to be there and do something…or do nothing.  Just be there.  They focus on memories I have of growing up.  And she was there for me…so it is my turn.  And I embrace those feelings and emotions.  Consciously or unconsciously.  It is me.

As I embrace the feelings that help me to be a better person…Father…Husband..Friend…

…It moves me to action.  To tears.  Feelings.  Of joy, happiness and times past.  Memories.  Voices and images from the past. That help me act on the present and the future.

My feelings and emotions.

It is my story.  At least a part of it…(to be continued)

Published in: on March 19, 2016 at 11:30 am  Comments (2)  
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